Sunday, February 1, 2009

being consumed by own self...?



I'm slowly reviving myself. At least I believe so. Once I thought I was slowly being consumed and eaten by one haziness within me. Still I feel I'm not entirely far from the reach of its fist, 'cos often I start to get that itch at the back of my mind as the week fades out. Abnormal? Maybe, but I wouldn't wanna call it so. Life's not a fuck fantasy. One has to have something to keep his mind and body occupied, yet still feel less resentful towards own self. Cos by the time things return from the obscurity, life should be in place – all set to roll, without the glitches or hindrances of the past. So I'm picking my odds to switch to something 'white', something socially 'understandable'. It can be the perfect insignia of boredom and monotony. Even the clock may appear to be running slow. Hell, even I’d feel my tummy getting bigger by the hour. But tougher choices may often need to be made for a seemingly better cause. Again, the way I figure it, it's a moral trial of oneself - the selection of best, rather probable alternatives out of many. Life’s a miserable test of routine questions. Twenty fucking seven years is quite a lot, and more shitty years on the list. It’s no time to let things go haywire. In fact I wouldn’t wanna say I was in that path. I hope I’m not too late to set things right or…